TIME AND TEMPERATURE
thoughts about consciousness

written and illustrated by Zelda Leah Gatuskin

complete text of "What does it mean" from Chapter 14: Soup to Nuts

What does it mean to dream of the dead?
Not just the ones we knew—
Grandpa looking dapper in his dark suit
my aunt more plump and gay than ever I saw her
in the light of day—
but the long lost
a great-grandfather who died young
yet so long ago he appears as an old man
in my dreams
and still I recognize him
My eyes fly open
I know who that was!
What does it mean?

What does it mean
when you go to bed thinking cynical thoughts about God
and decide that instead of the single all-knowing Creator
Heaven is occupied by bands of Ancestors
who roam a realm of partial magic
empowered to bless only their own
and all night you travel in cars of curious dimension
trying to get home
and wake up crying
because Grandpa's been gone since you were nine?

What does it mean
when awake and wounded by the glare of morning
everyone looks wooden
sounds hollow
feels flat
like forgotten pop in a warm glass
but by night the deceased dance
speak to you warmly

lead you here and there
and whisper jokes into your ear
before they disappear?
Someone up there has a sense of humor

I wish I knew who
I wish I knew what it all means
But whenever I get close to knowing
I fall asleep and dream

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back to Contents       excerpts at Amador Publishers

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